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State of the Holidays Address: November 25, 2002 In my senior year of high school, I took AP (Advanced Placement, I think) English. I took it with the same instructor as my junior year AP English instructor, who had already proven himself a wise and, in ways, formidable educator. In his class I gained many tools I find myself still using today. I gained the ability to write a three to five page paper quite swiftly and of a level of quality quite agreeable with most of my professors since. I learned much about reading the same set of words in many different ways, seeking for the author's intention and mood as he wrote and trying to learn what I can from them in the context of my own life. His greatest gifts to me, however, were those I am not completely certain he ever fully intended to provide me with. One day, early in that final year of high school, through some circumstance brought about by one of our readings, he challenged us. This wasn't a challenge of the sort instructors typically give, like a great amount of homework or a ferocious exam. This was a challenge directly to the way we lived, and to this day I wonder if anyone else discovered the potential importance of it. He asked us to take it upon ourselves to go an entire day, just one single 24 hour period, without speaking anything but the truth. We all reacted softly to this, thinking it was not much of a task to undertake, until he gave some examples. If, for instance, someone asked me how I was doing, instead of saying "fine" without even blinking, I should react honestly. If I was simply "fine" then so be it, but if something was troubling me, or I felt particularly great that day, then that is what I should express instead. Furthermore, I should not ask how someone else is doing out of simple courtesy, but rather only if I genuinely cared for the recipient's well being. This seemed more and more like it could hold some degree of difficulty, and as I went through my day of truth I found it much more of a challenge than I had imagined. Once I tried a few days of this and got a little better at it, I started to think seriously about the psychology behind this experiment, and what my instructor might have wanted us to learn from the endeavor. As I continue to practice saying nothing but truth every day, here are the three most significant things I have concluded so far regarding this task: 1. Don't waste words. I try desperately to only dispense words that are meaningful and important. If it has little significance in my heart, I try vehemently not to remark upon it. This, of the three significant things I am stating, is the most challenging to me. I have a long way to go still with this. Writing comics does help a lot, though. 2. Care. When I first started this challenge, I stopped myself from asking many people how they were because I genuinely didn't care enough for that person to do so. I felt the question should be reserved for a select group, special and dear to my life. Over time, though, I think the bigger lesson is to care enough about every individual to at least want to know how they are generally feeling. 3. This undertaking is mostly thankless. My wife recognizes parts of the outcome of me spending the last decade focusing on the lessons from this once simple challenge, and thanks me for being who I am. But for the most part, people you ask the welfare of will not distinguish your genuine concern for them from the countless other people who ask them "how're you doing" throughout the course of their life. You have to be ready to live with that aspect of this. It has to be good enough that you do care, and thanks enough that occasionally you might be able to do some good as a result of your concern. As we approach the time of year when so many religions celebrate their faith, when we are reminded to give thanks for the things we are fortunate enough to be able to cherish, this seemed like a good time to bring this part of my life to whoever's attention I might get. I extend this challenge to you readers, to consider how much your life might change for the better if you were able to be as honest as you are capable of being. You don't have to go run and tell everyone everything that comes through your heart and your head, for much of it is fleeting and not really what represents your head or your heart. In the things you do choose to express, however, whatever they may be, choose true words, and then only enough to express what you mean to say. Albert Einstein is remarked upon as saying, "Everything should be as simple as possible but no simpler." Happy holidays. |